So long, farewell!

This is the last post for 270.04, Winter Quarter 2012. So sad! But it's sure been a great class. Here's a solid recap of what we've learned the past 9 weeks:

Applying what I learned: One of the most useful ideas I learned in this class was the concept of change within a group: Kinds of change, how to make change, and how to accept it. Change isn't always easy. A lot of times, it's a bit daunting. But change can be so good! Especially if you're leading an organization down a better and more productive path.

In my own experience, I applied what I learned in chapters 11 & 12 of our book to how I facilitate change in a student organization I'm in. In revising our vision statement , it's important to talk with everyone first to let them know, then make them feel included in the process. One girl couldn't be at the meeting, so we sent her the Minutes of what happened, then she emailed us her thoughts. I learned to be inclusive, how to make people feel comfortable with change and how important it is to explain the process to them. I also think it is necessary for it to be a democratic way of enabling change. If someone is particularly opposed to something the group is doing, they should have the right to express their feelings. Finally, change is great but it is just as great to prove to your organization what you accomplished. Something concrete, that your members can see, proves to them that the change was a good idea, and they can feel proud that the organization as a whole is improving.

Aware of myself: I am so happy I took the Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator. I am for sure an ENFJ and I think having that self-knowledge helps me in a key areas. First, I am more aware of my weaknesses. I'm socially aware but I can be oversensitive. This is important for me to know; sometimes in a fight when my feelings are hurt, I need to take a step back and think. Perhaps this is my over-sensitivity to conflict stepping in. I can also have issues with control. One of my strengths for StrengthsQuest is woo, but it can have the negative connotation of manipulation. As a leader, I need to rely more on others, and work on delegating and trusting others to do work. I would much rather take on all the responsibility myself, because I know I'll actually get it done, and do it the way I want. This is bad! I need to allow others to improve themselves and the organization by having responsibility and doing something great, and also have less pressure and work on myself.

I am also more aware of my strengths. Break-ups suck, they really do. I have girl friends who waste so much energy and emotions over ex-boyfriends. Luckily, my ENFJ personality allows me the ability to process what happened, what went wrong, and move on. Do I cry? Definitely. Do I think about the relationship? Unfortunately, yes. But I don't dwell on the past. I have a positive and optimistic outlook that keeps me looking forward. I'm also good at bringing out the best in others. I love motivating people and helping them realize their potential. I love working with others and seeing people produce their best work. I'm good at encouragement and I try my hardest to be a reliable and supportive friend.

What's different: I never really thought about Ethics in Leadership. I knew you ought to have a moral compass and know the difference between right and wrong, but I didn't appreciate the importance of ethics. Yet, our book wrote as #1 in the 8 Assumptions of Ethical Leadership that Ethics is the heart of Leadership. I feel more educated about Ethics and Morals(and the difference), as well as how important it is in using Ethics to be a successful leader.

Ethics isn't just useful for me as a leader, but for the organizations I am involved in. Assumption #3 is that Personal Values intersect with Organizational Values. I think it would help a group grow stronger if they got together and did an Ethics workshop or training. Ethics can be tricky; there is no right or wrong answer. Often, I ask myself "What do I do??" But I am not the only one. I love that I have a support network within my organizations. I never feel like I am alone in making a tough call. I can work with my team to develop my thoughts and plan out my decision before I make it.

Continuing my Leadership Learning: Yay Leadership! Hopefully I will continue to develop my skills for my whole life. In the near future, I am hoping to take some more Leadership Classes through Ohio State, because they're awesome! I wish there was time in my schedule for a minor. I will also continue to improve the organizations I am involved in, and better focus my efforts. I'll be attending more Conferences and hopefully facilitating workshops through my involvement with Student Leadership Advocates. I also hope to learn from some of the fabulous upperclassmen friends I have, who are dedicated and strong leaders on campus and set perfect examples of what I want to be. Hopefully, they can teach me something!

Beyond my Ohio State career, I have no idea what I will be doing, but I plan on always working with people and being a leader. I definitely want to work in another country, perhaps I'll be advocating for women's rights in India. Then I could be a leader while inspiring other women to be leaders as well. That's my dream, anyway. I could also see myself getting my Masters in Education and being a leader in the classroom. I want to work with children and be a positive influence on them. Since I'm good at encouragement, I can hopefully use my ENFJ qualities to empower my students. If I do a good job, my students will succeed and be great people, which means I fulfilled my role as a teacher.

My own philosophy of leadership: As of right now, my philosophy of leadership is pretty simple: Listen, love, support, and achieve.If you do all of these things, I think you will be a special and wonderful leader.  There is no cookie-cutter form or right answer on how you'll be great, but this is how I live my life. Listening is key; you have to pay attention to everyone in your group. I am very focused on inclusiveness and I want everyone to feel like they are a part of the organization. I think love is very general, but it isn't talked about enough. Love yourself and others. Love what you're a part of. Love what you're doing. Love what you see happening in the future. Support for yourself and members is crucial. It's important to have "me" time. Also, be there for your participants. When they need something, help them.  When they're unsure, guide them. When they're nervous, encourage them. Everyone does better knowing that they have someone behind them, who is there to catch them if they fall. Finally, accomplish something. Being a part of some prestigious group is great; but what do YOU do? It is such a rewarding feeling to look back on your involvement and have done something that people remember, that made an impact.

I don't see my view on leadership as static. I hope that through my development as a leader and growth as a person, I will one day look back on this blog post and chuckle at how different my philosophy is. I still hope the core concepts are there: value your members and their input, be passionate about your cause, help others, and be successful. I want to make an impact on the world, create a positive change, so I plan on using my philosophy to get me there. I included this video because I love this song and it's all about love and hope and the unknown future. And Gwyneth Paltrow is really good covering the Fleetwood Mac classic.

I have had a fabulous class with you all and I really look forward to reading your last posts. Good luck on finals, everyone! And just because the class is over doesn't mean we can't still be friends. I'm here for all of you if you ever need me :)

Leading With Soul

For our book project, Amanda, Shatia and I read Leading with Soul - an Uncommon Journey of Spirit by Lee G. Bolman and Terrence E. Deal.

Quick Overview: I enjoyed Leading with Soul. This book is essentially a narrative of a man named Steve Camden, who is a super-busy and financially successful manager at a big firm. He is struggling with meaning in his life, and how he has gotten to this point. He feels unhappy and unsatisfied, so he learns from a friend of a woman who he thinks may help him. Her name is Maria, and she is an elderly lady who is incredible perceptive and wise. She helps him through his quest requiring" both an internal exploration of soul and an external search for communion." (63)The story of these two growing in their spirituality is written throughout the book, with Interludes of the reader’s (my) own personal journey interspersed. So, now that you have a basic rundown of how the book is written, I am going to delve into the material.

I don’t think this book has changed my view on leadership entirely, but it certainly has taught me many new concepts, as well as made my thoughts more clear.

Corporate America: One idea that I never thought about was successful leadership in the workplace. Because I am a student and I live in a happy little OSU bubble, I do not think about Corporate America and how leadership can be improved in that area. And oh boy, it can. Often, firms are only concerned about making deadlines, or being as efficient as possible. There is little attention paid to what human beings need, in terms of personal fulfillment and success. But this is so important! If your employees are not personally successful, you cannot expect your company to make positive strides forward. Companies that are old-fashioned and focus less on the people and more on production may soon lose success, to newer, more people-conscious companies. Employees should not be given mundane tasks, or dread going in to work. That does no good for anyone. Leading with Soul gives a warning to the companies who have yet to reevaluate their focus: “It is a road to crisis and decay-unless we find ways to reinfuse the workplace with passion, zest, and spirit.” (Page 6) Want more passion, zest, and spirit in your life? (I sure do) Well, if you'd like to learn, keep reading!

The Author's Goal: The goal of this book is to enlighten the reader on what is important to them, spiritually. The idea is if we figure out our spirituality, we can be better leaders. But not spirituality in the sense that this book is Religious, yelling at you that you need God in your life. (Those were my initial, and inaccurate, thoughts). Not true. At first, I had no idea what this book would have inside. I was nervous. The authors explain: "Our goal is not to teach you a specific theology or philosophy but to pose questions and stimulate reflection to help you deepen the faith you have or find the one you need." (10). Makes sense, right? This was totally new to me. I now understand leadership in a new way. We use our spirit to guide us. We use our leadership to guide others. If we have nothing leading us, how can we lead others?

Similarities: This book's take on leadership and my take certainly have some overlap. The first is the idea of purpose and significance. "The heart of leadership is in the hearts of leaders. You have to lead from something deep in your heart." (23) I absolutely believe in this statement. I could not be a successful leader if I did not care about the cause. A leader needs to be passionate and aware of the purpose of his or her organization. I also think it is important to note that the book used "heart" in those sentences. Leading with soul comes from using your heart and emotions. Being a leader is not about a drive for money, or efficiency. It is an emotional drive that comes from your core.

This brings me to my next point, the idea that we must aim for something bigger than financial success. “When we live superficially, pursue no goals deeper than material success, and never stop to listen to our inner voices, we stunt our spiritual development." (40) I also agree with this statement, because I am a firm believer in doing what you love. Money should not be your motivation. Often, people avoid certain majors or careers because they fear it doesn't pay well. Let's look at a scenario: You are determined to be a lawyer. Why? All that money. But your heart isn't in it. You don't like coming in to work, dealing with the Courts, paperwork, and other lawyers. You may then be a pretty crappy lawyer, and then you won't have as many clients, so no big bucks for you. However, let's say your passion is Social Work. You love counseling, working with people, and you're altruistic. You may get hired for the Government and excel at your job. Though you start out making less than a lawyer would, you love what you do. Your boss notices, and you get promoted. This continues to happen until you now oversee 200 Social Workers in your Division and you are their leader. You use your skills and passion to help your employees develop into even better Social Workers. So now you're a boss, making more money than you ever planned to, and you love going to work every day. See? Living superficially doesn't get you anywhere. If you love what you do, and you work hard, everything else will fall into place.

Differences: My views on leadership and the views presented in Leading with Soul are not all that different, they are just expressed differently. There is nothing written in this book I flat-out disagree with, but I do think it is important to point out that Spirituality does not imply God and praying. It is completely dependent on the individual. The book points out that in order to get in touch with your spirituality, you need to perform a spiritual practice. You can: pray, meditate, study scriptures, follow prescribed rituals, journey to sacred places, contemplate nature, etc. (63) I have never thought that praying could help my leadership, so that may be a difference. But I won't knock it before I try it. I think this concept can be applied to personal reflection. If you are struggling as a leader, take time to be alone and contemplate your feelings, your journey, and your next move.

Spirit & Soul: You've heard these words; can you tell me what they mean? Well before reading this book, I would have said no. The entire book is based upon these two words, so let's see how the book explains Spirit and Soul.  Soul is personal and unique, "grounded in the depths of personal experience." Soul is "at the core of our being." (9). Spirit is transcendent, all embracing. It is the Universal source, the oneness of all things. "The internal force that sustains meaning and hope.” (22) Ok, so we have the definitions. Now let's see how learning these two definitions really "spoke" to me in this assignment.

The first quote that I loved was "When you don’t know what you believe in, you don’t know who you are. You have no idea why you’re here. You can’t see where you’re going.” (57). This is very true. It is important to know yourself and know what you believe in, before you get thrown into a sticky situation and are not sure how to react. I loved this quote because I think it stresses the importance of getting to know yourself, defining your personal leadership style, and how those two things can help you lead others. If you are sure of who you are, your members will also know. There will be no confusion, or ambiguity. This can increase your confidence as a leader, and increase the overall cohesiveness of your organization. If you want to get to know yourself better, I suggest doing some Personality Assessments, like True Colors, Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator, or StrengthsQuest. It could also help to write your thoughts and feelings down, or talk with a friend. Finally, do some Ethics situations. How would you react if you saw your best friend, who also happens to be Treasurer of your Student Org, steal $100? Your answers to these questions can help define who you are and what you value, which is key to being a great leader.

The second idea that I loved in this book is that “leadership is a relationship rooted in community. Leaders embody their group’s most precious values and beliefs. Their ability to lead emerges from the strength and sustenance of those around them.” (62). This really resonated with me. I mentioned in the paragraph before this that if you know yourself, your members will know you, and that's great. But I also think it is crucial for you to know your members. As a leader, you have nothing if you don't have anyone to lead. If your group is strong, works well together, and is passionate about achieving a goal, you can do great things. I think it is equally important for you to learn about yourself as it is for them to do the same. Maybe at your next meeting, have everyone find their True Color, and then present to the class based on each Color Group. What I love about that exercise is everyone learns about all four colors, and more importantly, how best to work with each one.

Finally, the third idea that I most connected with was "The gift of leadership is not giving things or even providing visions. It is offering oneself and one’s spirits. ..Leaders cannot give what they do not have or lead to places they’ve never been." (106) I never thought about my own Spiritual Journey affecting my leadership until this book. I did not realize how important it is for everyone to embark on an unknown journey to finding their spirituality. I also think it is necessary for leaders to have developed our own definition of love, significance, and spirit, so we can share that with others and help them on that journey. But, we cannot give advice on something we've never experienced, so first we need work on ourselves.

One concept of Leading with Soul that was confusing to me was the two basic Dualities (74). These include Yin/Yang and Matter/Spirit. From Yin is the female principle, caring and compassion- the gift of love. From Yang is the male principle, autonomy and influence- the gift of power. From Matter, the pragmatic world, accomplishment and craftsmanship- the gift of authorship. From Spirit, significance- comes from working with others, doing something worth doing, making the world better. (74 and 99) The book describes these four as the Gifts of Leadership, but I think this is a very broad and heavy concept. I could honestly see an entire book dedicated to these four gifts, what they mean, how to apply them etc, because the one Chapter was confusing and I don't exactly think it did them justice.

The three concepts that I mentioned that really resonated with me I will absolutely apply in my life. Also, the new things I learned from this book have brought me new knowledge to be a better leader, and there is always room for improvement. I am currently working on starting a new Student Organization on campus. It started in High School as The Boo Radley Society; a club inspired by the good deeds of Boo Radley from the book To Kill a Mockingbird. The club's mission was to be committed to doing random acts of kindness. Through my own leadership development as well as my Vision through LeaderShape, I have begun the process of starting The Boo Radley Society here on campus. And I am so happy to say that we are almost finished. Though this is a lot of responsibility and I am nervous, I feel confident that if I run into issues, I have a huge support network at OSU who can help me. I also think this book has helped me realize the importance of personal reflection. When I get stressed, I can allow my Spirituality to guide me. Even if it is as easy as taking a walk outside to clear my head, contemplate nature, and enjoy its beauty, I know that will help me. I will make sure I know my group members and Exec Board very well, and they will know me. I have such high expectations for Boo Radley at OSU and this book has helped me realize the importance of Leading with Soul.

Finally, (shameless plug) if anyone is interested in being a part of Boo Radley Society, please let me know :)

Have a wonderful day everyone!

Tuckman Model

This week in class we read about Tuckman's Stages of Group Development. These phases are essential for any group to grow and succeed and I have had some great experiences with group dynamics at Ohio State! My involvement with the First Year Connections team through the Undergraduate Admissions and First Year Experience has been a wonderful time, with some challenges in the mix. 

Forming: Hey Y'all! This is when the group first gets together and meets each other. This stage is important because the team is organized and routines are established. All of us on FYCT met at the end of our first year at OSU, during Spring Quarter (2011). We played some ice breakers and  planned for the upcoming year. I think it's funny looking back on first impressions, because they are so important. I remember meeting a fellow FYCT member who lived on my floor, Bri. We never talked while in Haverfield, but I recognized her and she seemed awesome. 

Storming: Grrr... We reconvened the day before school started this year (2011-2012). We discussed our summers and did more ice breakers. Over the break, we had been given a hundred names of incoming first years to be a Buckeye Contact to. We were supposed to send them a few emails, introducing ourselves and offering our help if they had any questions before school started. This was the first time trying Buckeye Contacts and it didn't work super well. We discussed what happened over the summer and what went wrong. Very few students responded to our emails and some students never received them. There also wasn't a very strong support network for answering their questions if we didn't know the answer. This stage was definitely storming because come ideas were competing against others. We were faced with our first issue and we had to solve it. It was good to hear everyone's opinions, but challenging to create a solution. To make matters a little more difficult, our advisor left for another job. We were feeling lost and classes hadn't even started yet. 




Norming: What are we doing here?? After resolving the Buckeye Contact endeavor, we moved on to bigger and better events. We were working on the Buckeye Book Community, planning mixers for Buckeyes Beyond Ohio, and attending FYE events. All those fun and informational sessions you went to for your survey class :) Our main goal was established: help first years in any way possible become more connected to Ohio State, through involvement, academics, and friendship. Each of us had to attend and facilitate events and we were responsible for making sure everything went according to plan. It felt good to be productive and because we were held accountable, we did big things. We were also all becoming closer friends and I was looking forward to our Friday afternoon meetings. This definitely helped our team focus on what we wanted to accomplish by the end of Fall quarter. It also is nice that Bri, who I mentioned in Forming, as become one of my best friends and will be one of my roommates next year!


Performing: now we're on a roll! Winter quarter so far has been a blast. We have taken True Colors and learned more about each other's personalities and how best to work together. I'm a hardcore blue: enthusiastic, compassionate, idealistic, and imaginative. We did some Professional Development workshops as well, since most of the FYE events were at the beginning of the year. Now that we're able to make decisions and handle conflict on our own, we have been divided into small groups to create an event on our own that deals with an issue we believe is relevant to First Years. Mine is Current Issues. So to have a fun and relaxing event, we're throwing a March Madness Viewing Party once we get back from Spring break. It's nice to be given more responsibilities and actually plan an event on our own! 

Adjourning:  So long, farewell! The FYCT 2011-2012 will disintegrate at the end of this year. I'm so sad for it to end, but Spring quarter we will find a new class of energetic, fun, and involved first-years to help with the class of 2015. Though we haven't come to our last stage of recognition and celebration, I look forward to spending the rest of this year with my team :)






P.S. Happy Valentine's Day!
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart."
- Helen Keller

My Psychological Type

      In our books this week, we read two chapters, Chapter 4: Understanding Yourself and Chapter 6: Leading with Integrity and Moral Purpose. Chapter 4 went in to detail about self-knowledge and defining your talents. Chapter 6 talked about ethical standards as a leader and Transforming Leadership Theory.


      As part of "understanding myself", I took Carl Jung's Typology test. I answered the questions and was given: ENFJ. So I have a distinctively expressed Extravert personality (67%), distinctively expressed Intuitive personality (75%), moderately expressed Feeling personality (50%), and slightly expressed Judging personality (1%). 


      I definitely agree with the results I got. I am of the Idealist Temperament and was given the role of "The Teacher." This made me so happy! Here are some of the things that represent my type:


"Good careers: Psychology, Education, Counseling, Management"


"Famous ENFJ's: Pope John Paul II, Barack Obama, Oprah Winfrey, Michael Jordan."


"More so than any other type, they have excellent people skills. They understand and care about people, and have a special talent for bringing out the best in others. ENFJ's main interest in life is giving love, support, and a good time to other people. They are focused on understanding, supporting, and encouraging others. They make things happen for people, and get their best personal satisfaction from this."


      It's amazing how this 72-question test figured me out so well! 


      So, my major is Business-Marketing and I have a minor in Entrepreneurship and a minor in Art History. Though I love what I'm studying, this summer I was an English teacher in Ecuador and I realized that was my true calling. I will most likely get my Masters in Education, because I had such an incredible experience. 


      I taught three classes a day, 20 hours a week. My first class was little kids, 5-9 years old. They were precious. They didn't learn a whole lot of English (most of them were still learning Spanish!), but we had a lot of fun. We played lots of games and I found that songs kept their attention and helped them learn. Here are my little cuties when I meant to take a photo:

My second and third classes of the day were older kids, ages 12-19. They were incredible: smart, funny, and easy to teach. They put up with all my mistakes and made me so happy. They also learned quite a bit of English. Here is a picture of some of my students:

      

       I never thought about being a teacher as a career until this past summer, and I know it sounds cliché, but these kids changed my life. They made teaching so fun; they brought me gifts, played my silly games, did well on evaluations, and treated me with love and respect. We all became friends and I still keep in touch with them.


      I have always felt most comfortable with children. Something about their energy, innocence, and playfulness makes me so happy. They are genuine and non-judgmental; two things I try my hardest to be. I think children can teach us about Ethics. They have a conscious and they go with their gut. If they don't feel good about something, they won't do it. They are role models for what adults should be like.


      Chapter 4 had a quote (pg 120) that I really like. "The most basic life trait that translates to leadership effectiveness is honest, authentic self-awareness that is open to growth, learning, and change."


      I am trying to live by this advice to be a better leader. Maybe this is the E in me, but I truly value being a part of a group, with a mission to do something great. I hope to be a good leader by surrounding myself with optimistic, motivated people and creating an open, accepting environment. I will always try to be better. 


      Leading should be fun, right? That's why I'll most likely end up with children, so I can play games and sing songs all day :)


"Education is the mother of leadership."
Wendell L. Willkie

Relational Leadership

Blog #2

There are five elements to the Relational Leadership Model: Purposeful, Inclusive, Empowering, Ethical, and Process-Oriented. Of these five, the leadership component that I feel most comfortable with is Inclusive.   

                       

I love Ohio State for many reasons, one of them being our diversity.  I think it is awesome how many organizations and clubs we have, how many countries are represented, all the great ethnic food around campus, and all the different faces I see walking through the oval. I especially love taking classes that have a discussion component (like our lovely 270.04 class) because everyone gets to speak, and hear each other’s opinions. It allows us to think about things in a way we may not otherwise have been exposed to. Because I welcome different backgrounds, opposite opinions, challenging concepts, and eye-opening discussions, I feel I am most comfortable with Inclusion. I think this is important in leadership because everyone has something to contribute. The group as a whole can be better if everyone shares and everyone grows together.

          I also feel comfortable with the idea of Purpose in leadership. I think because my outlook is positive, I can relate to Purpose well. I definitely think a “can-do” attitude is necessary in leadership, because your members want to see a objective and reach for it. I am a very hopeful person and when you get a group together working towards a common goal, the results can be phenomenal.

          One component of the Relational Leadership Model I would like to work on more is Process. Sometimes my mind is so focused on an end result that I lose sight of how important the process to get there is. Also, I would like to work on civil confrontation. Often times in a group, tensions can arise and I am never sure how to deal with them. I honestly really hate confrontation; I don’t like drama or conflict, so I tend to avoid it, which can get ugly. I would also like to work on giving and receiving feedback. I am a very sensitive person and perhaps I take everything a little too personally. I want to develop a thicker skin and realize constructive feedback is given to help me, not hurt me.

           One of the points made in Chapter 3 that I liked the most was about Cooperation vs. Competition (pg 105). I thought it was very interesting how being in a competitive environment can actually hinder your performance. “A person’s best work is done under conditions of support and cooperation, not under fear, anxiety, or coercion.” This really resounded with me. No matter what situation we’re in, shouldn't we be helping each other? After all, being competitive in the end may get you to the top, but you’re all alone. I’d much rather be successful, and see everyone else succeeding as well.

I couldn't be a better leader without the help of you all, so thank you.

Here’s a relevant quote :)

None of us is as smart as all of us.

-Ken Blanchard 

Leadershape 2011

Part One:

The most involving, ethical, empowering, and inclusive community in my life right now is my Leadershape community. I graduated from Leadershape this past summer with 59 people I didn’t know until the week we spent together. We were divided into families and spent the next few days learning about each other, ourselves, and our leadership style. We bonded during the program and developed a strong support network. We made a Facebook group and we still keep in touch. I see someone I went to Leadershape with every single day at Ohio State, and it is a great feeling.

My Leadershape friends are super encouraging. There are always inspiring quotes, motivational videos, and warm wishes being posted on the Wall. Whenever someone has an idea, they post it and receive tons of feedback. A friend just posted a link to her new Glass Decorating business; another just wrote about a new club he founded. We have had a reunion and many of us are still close friends. In fact, three Leadershapers just went to Israel together, and many of us are involved in the same organizations.

We all have a relationship with each other, and our bond has allowed for us to be open and honest in an inclusive environment. I am so lucky to be a part of this community!

Part Two:

Being optimistic isn’t always easy, but I would say I am a very optimistic person. I also value authenticity. I think it is very important to be genuine, and not just in leadership, but in everything you do. People can sense when you are being honest and real, and that helps me build relationships. I think the best way to nurture hope and optimism in those around me would be to have hope and be optimistic myself. I am a firm believer in leading by example, so I think when others see that I am a positive thinker and hopeful for a better future, they will respond positively as well. I think this is crucial in leadership; if you are not excited and looking forward to a better future, what is your goal? I think an integral part of being a successful leader is having faith in yourself and your members and I try very hard to always be genuine and optimistic.